Why I Walk… Tammy’s Story

Shared by: Tammy Joseph

Tammy Joseph — a woman whose journey through Alzheimer’s disease has been marked by deep loss, unwavering love, and a powerful determination to create change.

Tammy walks to honor four loved ones — her grandmother, her father, her father-in-law, and most recently, her mother — all of whom were impacted by Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.

“All four of my loved ones eventually forgot who we were,” Tammy shared. “Unless your family has had this happen to a loved one, it’s very difficult to understand what it’s like to have someone stop speaking to you and look through you with a blank stare because they can’t remember who you are.”

Tammy’s father, once a proud farmer who raised horses and pigs, began to lose touch with his past and his identity. Despite no longer living on the farm, he would buy supplies and make plans as if nothing had changed.

“One day, he wrote a huge check to enter pigs into the county fair — but he didn’t have hogs to show,” Tammy said. “When I tried to get the check from him to pretend to mail it, he pushed me out of the way. My dad would have never treated me like that before.”

Moments like these led to incredibly difficult decisions. Tammy and her family eventually had to take away his credit cards, his driver’s license, and even sell his truck to keep him safe.

“My parents lived in a small town, so when my dad was driving on the wrong side of the road, the police brought him home and told us he shouldn’t be driving. He said it was his truck and no one could stop him. We had to sell it just to get it out of his sight.”

As his condition progressed, Tammy and her family made the painful decision to medicate her father for his own safety and for the safety of their mother. “What many people don’t understand is how hard it is to make those kinds of decisions — decisions to protect someone you love, even when it means taking away the things that once brought them independence and joy.”

For Tammy’s mom, the hardest part was watching the man she knew slowly disappear. Her father stopped talking about the farm, speaking with friends, and eventually barely spoke to his wife at all. “Mom became very lonely. Dad was always a talker, and he just stopped.”

Then came the pandemic. In March 2020, when nursing homes locked down due to COVID-19, Tammy could no longer visit her mother or take her out for meals — something she did regularly to keep her mom engaged. “She shut down. Her dementia got worse, and when she got COVID, she didn’t have a chance. We lost her in December 2020.” After witnessing how long and emotionally taxing Alzheimer’s can be, Tammy is more determined than ever to support the mission of the Alzheimer’s Association.

“This disease isn’t quick. In most cases, your loved one will live many years after being diagnosed — and they will need a lot of care. It’s affecting our healthcare system, and in that way, it’s affecting every person who pays taxes.” She added, “It’s rare that I find someone who hasn’t had someone in their immediate family, or a friend diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia.”

Tammy walks in the Jacksonville Walk to End Alzheimer’s with a hope that future generations won’t have to endure what she and so many others have. “I walk in hopes of raising money to fund research so that one day, my children won’t be sitting here writing their story of why they Walk to End Alzheimer’s.”

Held annually in more than 600 communities nationwide, Walk to End Alzheimer's is the world's largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer's care, support and research. Find your Walk today at www.alz.org/walk