Finding Moments That Matter in Alzheimer's
- 22 minutes ago
- 2 min read
The first time David Feinstein heard a memory care resident sing again, it stopped everyone in the room.
A Frank Sinatra song had started playing softly in the background while Feinstein sat with a resident who had become mostly quiet and withdrawn. Then, without prompting, the man began singing every word.
His daughter stood in the doorway, stunned.
"She later said, 'I haven't heard Dad sing in two years,'" Feinstein recalled.
For Feinstein, moments like that have come to define the reality of Alzheimer's. Not just the loss families experience, but the connection that still remains. As a nurse and caregiver who has worked closely with people living with dementia, he said the disease changed from something clinical to something deeply personal after his mother's best friend, Sharon, was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer's disease.
"One of the moments that truly changed how I understood Alzheimer's was realizing that the person I knew was still there," Feinstein said. "Even when memories, words or recognition began to fade."
That realization has followed him throughout his work in memory care, where he learned that caregiving often has less to do with correcting someone and more to do with meeting them where they are.
"People may see forgetfulness, but they don't always see the grief, exhaustion and constant adjustment caregivers experience every single day," Feinstein said.
Still, amid the heartbreak, Feinstein said some of the most meaningful moments are often the smallest.
Nothing extraordinary happened the day the resident sang Sinatra. There was no breakthrough or major milestone. But for a few minutes, a family got a piece of someone back.
For Feinstein, moments like that are why awareness matters. They're why he joined his first Alzheimer's Association Walk to End Alzheimer's last year and why the mission has continued growing more personal ever since. What began as a way to honor Sharon evolved into something larger: supporting families, raising awareness and reminding caregivers they are not alone.
His background in nursing prepared him for many parts of the disease — staying calm under pressure, advocating for patients and educating families. But he said no clinical training can fully prepare someone for the emotional reality Alzheimer's creates.
"Families experience grief long before there is an actual goodbye," Feinstein said.
What he's learned instead is the value of presence. More than anything, Feinstein said Alzheimer's has taught him that identity exists far beyond memory.
"The disease may change how they communicate, but it does not erase their humanity," he said.
And for families beginning their own journey with Alzheimer's, Feinstein hopes they remember one thing: Don't wait for perfect moments.
"The small, everyday moments — sitting together, listening to music, sharing a laugh, holding a hand — often become the most meaningful," he said.
For more information on Alzheimer's and other dementia, including support resources, visit alz.org or call the Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900.
