Exploitation Across Generations: The Reality of The Younger Generation Targeting Older Adults for Financial Gain, and How We Solve the Problem.

By: Jack Rennillo

I’d like to start this article off by asking the reader to humor the author with a visualization experiment. An older loved one in a family lost their spouse within the past 5 years, and as an unfortunate reality of this loved one’s life, they have had the conversation with their medical provider that they have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, specifically frontotemporal dementia (FTD), which can result in changes in behavior, personality, and memory loss.

Now, a person younger than the loved one, unrelated by blood, uses not only the loss of the loved one’s spouse, but the diagnosis of FTD, as an opportunity to befriend the loved one in furtherance of their own self gain. In turn, they isolate the loved one from their family members, attempt to change beneficiary policies on the loved one’s life insurance plan, redraft wills, etc. 

When the family around the loved one finally comes to the realization that this younger person has retitled assets, changed beneficiary designations, and stolen from their loved one, it is too late.

Okay, visualization experiment is over. However, a few follow up questions:

1. Did you picture the loved one as an older man? Older woman?

2. Was the younger person a young woman? Young man?

3. Was the nature of the relationship sexual in any manner? 

4. What was the age difference between the younger person and the loved one?

5. If the relationship you pictured was sexual in nature, was it heterosexual? Homosexual?

Now, after you have answered these questions, I will give you my answer relative to the same. 

The answer to all these questions is that it does not matter.

In today’s ever-changing culture of gender norms, non-monogamous relationships, platonic friendships, etc., I believe that sometimes we can get caught up in the particulars of certain situations, seeing which group of people should take up arms against a certain other group for their exploitation or lack of empathy towards another. 

In this case, the problem should be simple and clear: Older people who have either lost someone they are close to, or are in a vulnerable stage of their life, are continuously, and now more than ever, being taken advantage of for financial gain. Whether it be sexually, platonically, or by a younger man or woman.

Regardless of what leading statistics say (7% of married households have an age gap of 10 or more years in favor of the man being older, compared to 1% of married households having an age gap of 10 or more years in favor of the woman being older), these aren’t the statistics that should be of importance when understanding this problem.

If we, as a society, continue to look at this problem through the lens of, “well who is being hurt the most”, then there will never be a solution. In order to tackle a problem as important as protecting the elderly from financial exploitation by younger generations, we have to look at the bigger picture, and in turn, then look at the bigger solution.

It is of course important to note leading causes of problems and acknowledge them. Yes, younger women are taking advantage of older, lonelier men, in a sexual manner in order to obtain financial gain. But the same can be said of all genders and relationships, and that is why when looking at the solution, we must look at it through a broader lens. This is because the solution is simple, and covers all manners of relationships, whether sexual, platonic, heterosexual, homosexual, or anything in between.

So, what is the solution? The common theme of all solutions that plague our current society, is always to be proactive, instead of reactive when problems arise. This, in turn, can mean having tough conversations with those we love prior to them being exposed to the dangers of financial exploitation by younger generations. 

Having these conversations, from the frame of “we care about you, and that is why we want to protect you”, can help bring a certain piece of mind to a loved one, who once they have been exposed or taken advantage of, will rarely listen to reason, as in most cases, the perpetrator has already accomplished their job in isolating the loved one from those who truly care for them.

Further, besides having a conversation with your loved one, family members can take affirmative steps to avoid such situations, such as drafting new Powers of Attorney, and obtaining control of important financial assets of their loved ones in order to protect their assets in the future, should such a situation arise. 

Further, it is important to understand the digital society that we live in today. Whether it is online scammers accomplished through fake toll booth payments and phony links that hack credit card information, or websites that expose the elderly through a sexual manner, protection from those online is another prong that must be addressed when having these difficult conversations with those we love.

While having proactive conversations and obtaining control or authority over a loved one’s assets in order to protect them is all well and fine, the third, and what I believe is the most important step to the solution to this problem, is also the hardest for those who surround the loved one.

You have to put in the work.

Now, it seems like a simple concept in theory, but one that in practice could not be more stressed. Once a loved one is aware that exploitation could become a problem for the family as a whole, and assets have been secured, you, as a family, have to continuously put in the effort to show that loved one that they are cared about. I say this, from my own personal experience with my family who I live far away from, that it is easy to be caught up in our own lives and unintentionally ignore those who we care about. 

It will always be the simple things that take just a bit of effort that can accomplish this third and final step. It’s calling them on a random weekday to see how their day is. It is making the extra effort to communicate with other family members to check on the loved one’s status. There is a plethora of miniscule things that take minutes to accomplish, that in turn, make a world of difference to those we care about that are entering the later years of their life.

Here is the reality of the situation. We all get old. We all eventually lose the ones we care about. We can continue to complicate the solutions to problems such as these through statistics, and multiple step plans, but it all boils down to one thing. 

Empathy. 

I’d like to do one more visual experiment to summarize the goal of this article. Picture yourself as someone above the age of 80, someone who has accomplished all the goals you have set out for in your life, and a family surrounding you that you could have never dreamed of when you set out to accomplish all the goals and hardships that life threw at you. Would you not want someone in your family to do all these things for you? To have the tough conversations? To protect your financial assets? To do the little things that show that they care and love you?

Visual experiment is over, and I believe the answers to the above questions are all obvious.

The Law firm of Peck Ritchey, LLC, affiliated for many years with the Illinois Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, has recently been named the Legal Education Partner of the Association. Kerry Peck, Managing Partner of Peck Ritchey, LLC serves as Chair of the Illinois Supreme Court Commission on Elder Law and previously as President of the Chicago Bar Association. Mr. Peck is Co-Author of Alzheimer’s and the Law and Don’t Let Dementia Steal Everything, books which he wrote at the request of the American Bar Association. Kerry Peck served on the Association’s Board for many years and the Law Firm was honored last year by the Alzheimer’s Association. Peck Ritchey LLC is a one-stop shop for families navigating the devastating effects of a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease.